Fart- Bart

Thursday, April 3, 2008

welcome to INDIAAA....

One Hand On Steering Wheel,

One Hand Out Of Window…

You Are in SYDNEY…

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One Hand On Steering Wheel,

One Hand On Horn…

You Are in JAPAN…

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One Hand On Steering Wheel,

One Hand On Newspaper,

Foot Solidly On Accelerator…

You Are in BOSTON…

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Both Hands On Steering Wheel,

Eyes Shut,

Both Feet On Brake,

Quivering In Terror

You Are in NEW YORK…

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Both Hands In Air,

Gesturing,

Both Feet On Accelerator,

Head Turned To Talk To Someone In Back Seat…

You Are in ITALY…

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One Hand On Horn,

One Hand On Holding Gear,

One Ear Listening To Loud Music,

One Ear On Cell Phone,

One Foot On Accelerator,

One Foot On Clutch,

Nothing On Break,

Eyes On Females In Next Car,

WELCOME TO INDIA

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Novels for free

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Saying The Right Thing........

Pretty lame but here it is....

A story....

John wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass ofwater on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. John looks around the room and sees that it isin perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on thestove, I left early to go shopping. Love You!" So he goes to the kitchenand sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. John asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Brokesome furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye whenyou stumbled into the door". Confused, John asks, "So, why is everythingin order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? Ishould expect a big quarrel with her!"His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when shetried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said, "Lady leave me alone! I'm married!"

Self-induced hangover -- $. 200.00
Broken furniture -- $. 20,00.00
Breakfast -- $. 10.00
Saying The Right Thing While Drunk - PRICELESS
{There are some things that money can't buy (",)}

Monday, September 10, 2007

UniPolar Motor

Got Time to kill, Check out this neat video on how to create homo polar motar, using a battery and piece fo wire..

Hyundai Ad,

check out Hyundai's really cute ad .. This add is for Hyundai New Zealand.

The Fern and the Bamboo.....

The Fern and the Bamboo.....

One day I decided to quit....
I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality. ....
I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.

"God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answersurprised me... "Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and thebamboo?"
"Yes", I replied.
"When I planted the fern and the bambooseeds, I took very good care of them.
I gave them light. I gave them water.The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered thefloor.Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed.

But I did not quit on the bamboo.
In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo".

He said. "In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.But I would not quit.

In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed.I would not quit."

He said. "Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant.But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.

It had spent the five years growing roots.
Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.
I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."
He said to me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have beenstruggling, you have actually been growing roots?I would not quit on the bamboo.I will never quit on you.
Don't compare yourself to others."

He said. "The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern, yet, theyboth make the forest beautiful." "Your time will come, "God said to me."You will rise high!" "How high should I rise?" I asked. "How high willthe bamboo rise?" He asked in return. "As high as it can?" I questioned."Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."

Never regret a day in your life.
Good days give you Happiness.
Bad days give you Experiences.
Both are essential to life.
Keep going...Happiness keeps you Sweet,
Trials keep you Strong,
Sorrows keep you Human,
Failures keep you Humble,
Success keeps You GlowingLove keeps you Alive,
But Only God keeps You Going!

GOD is too wise to be mistaken...
GOD is too good to be unkind...
so when you don't understand..
when you don't see HIS plan...
when you can't trace HIS hand...
HAVE FAITH AND TRUST HIS HEART!

CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS OF YOUR OWN AGE ANDTHINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD?"

WELL ... YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE!

Narration as it goes

I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEWDENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.

SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAMENAMEHAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 40-ODD YEARS AGO.

COULD HE BE THESAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN??
UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT. THISBALDING GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS 'WAY TOO OLD TO HAVEBEEN MY CLASSMATE.
HMMM .OR COULD HE?? ?

AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGHSCHOOL.
"YES. YES, I DID. I HAD A MUSTANG," HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE."WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?" I ASKED.

HE ANSWERED, "IN 1969. WHY DO YOU ASK?""YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!" I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.THEN, THAT UGLY, OLD, WRINKLED MAN ASKED,"WHAT DID YOU TEACH?"